Masturbation

Humans are one of the few species that engage in sex purely for pleasure. While many mammals are capable of orgasms, most only have sex for reproduction.

So, is orgasm the sole purpose of sex if we’re not trying to have children? The short answer: No. The long answer: Orgasms are a delightful part of sex. Most people enjoy experiencing an orgasm at the end, or even multiple times during sexual activity. However, there’s a common misconception that sex is unsuccessful or unsatisfying if one or both partners don’t orgasm.

Sex can be amazing without an orgasm! For example, it can be:

• A fantastic way to connect with your partner.
• Fun and pleasurable to be pampered and experience intimacy.
• A chance to learn more about yourself and your partner.

It’s also important to remember the most essential organ in sex is the brain!

When your mind is elsewhere, reaching orgasm is nearly impossible. The brain controls sexual arousal, processes sensations during sex, and decides whether something feels good or not.

If you’re thinking about the dirty laundry on the floor, unfinished homework, or stressing over not climaxing, the chances of reaching orgasm plummet. When your brain isn’t fully engaged, sex loses much of its enjoyment.

Pressure to orgasm is the most common reason people struggle to experience it.The second most common reason? The clitoris is overlooked! While some people can orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone, the majority need clitoral stimulation to climax.

1. Don’t Overthink It
   Sex is meant to be enjoyable, and overanalyzing won’t help. Relax and focus on the experience rather than the outcome.
2. Know What You Like
   It’s hard to orgasm if your partner isn’t stimulating you in the right way. The best way to understand what works for you is to explore your body through masturbation.
3. Communicate
   Talking to your partner can reduce anxiety and make sex more comfortable. Let them know what feels good, what doesn’t, and if you need a break. It’s perfectly fine to pause for cuddling or kissing before continuing.
4. Try Toys
   Many people use sex toys to enhance pleasure, and they can significantly help in reaching orgasm.
5. Set the Mood
   Creating a comfortable environment can make it easier to relax and enjoy the moment. Dim the lights, light candles, or play soothing music—whatever works for you.
6. Avoid Alcohol
   Alcohol can make it harder to orgasm by dulling sensation and reducing focus. Staying sober can help you stay more in tune with your body and sensations.

Lubricants are a fantastic addition to all kinds of sexual activities—masturbation, intercourse, anal sex, and more. They enhance pleasure and reduce friction. Lubricants are essential for anal sex and can be very helpful when stimulating areas like the clitoris or penis, as these don't naturally produce lubrication.

It’s important to check that certain lubricants are compatible with latex condoms, as some can degrade latex. Similarly, some lubricants may not be suitable for use with silicone-based sex toys. Additionally, individuals with sensitive skin may react to certain ingredients in lubricants. In such cases, choosing a pure, hypoallergenic lubricant is best.

A helpful tip: before using a lubricant on your genitals, apply a small drop inside your cheek to test how your body reacts to it. This can help you avoid irritation or allergic reactions.

Vibrators come in a wide variety of sizes and shapes, all sharing the ability to vibrate. Different devices offer varying speeds, with some featuring adjustable intensity levels or even rhythmic patterns. Vibrators specifically designed for clitoral stimulation are often called eggs.

There are also dildos, which resemble vibrators in form but are non-electric and do not vibrate. Additionally, some vibrators are designed to stimulate the vaginal canal internally, with certain models including external attachments for simultaneous clitoral stimulation.

Vibrators can be an excellent way to explore pleasure, whether during solo play or with a partner.

Egg vibrators are a type of vibrator primarily designed for external stimulation, such as on the clitoris, nipples, scrotum, and more. These devices can also be fun for couples, with some models specifically designed to be used together during intimate moments.

Suction devices differ from vibrators as they provide a sucking sensation—some also include vibration. These devices are typically designed to be placed on the clitoris for targeted stimulation. Some models can even be controlled via a smartphone app, allowing for more customizable experiences.

Don't worry, though—this is nothing like a vacuum cleaner! The suction is designed for pleasurable sensations, enhancing sexual pleasure with gentle, focused stimulation.

Penis rings come in various forms, but they all serve the purpose of prolonging the time to orgasm, allowing for longer intercourse and more intense orgasms. Some are designed to reduce the impact of thrusting, helping to control the depth of penetration, while others feature vibration for added pleasure. There are also couple rings that stimulate the clitoris during intercourse, enhancing the experience for both partners.

The anus has many nerve endings, and many people find it pleasurable to stimulate this area. Various toys, such as vibrators and other devices, can be used for this purpose. However, anal toys are typically designed with a thick base to prevent them from being unintentionally drawn into the rectum, as that can make retrieval difficult.

Buttplugs are common toys used for anal stimulation and come in a variety of sizes and shapes. It's crucial to always use lubricants when inserting anything into the anus, as it doesn't self-lubricate like the vagina. Without lubrication, the risk of irritation or injury increases.

Some individuals may also prefer to cleanse the anus before engaging in anal activities, and this can be done with an anal douche, which is used for cleaning purposes.

A masturbation sleeve is designed to provide stimulation to the penis. This is achieved through various textures, vibrations, or varying air pressure inside the sleeve. The purpose of the sleeve is to simulate the sensations of vaginal intercourse or oral sex. 

Kegel balls are not directly used in sex, but they can help achieve stronger orgasms. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles when used correctly. The balls are inserted into the vagina and are held in place by contracting the pelvic floor muscles (similar to exercises with weights). The balls come in different weights—it's best to start with lighter ones and gradually increase the weight over time. It's a good idea to consult a doctor if there have been any issues with the vagina, cervix, or if you have an IUD.

The devices mentioned above are just a small part of the variety that can be added to sexual experiences. Other items available in sex toy shops include:

• Numbing and stimulating sprays for the genitals
• Strap-on dildos
• Lingerie
• Dice for sexual ideas
• Cards
• Ticklers
• Harnesses, whips, and masks
• Nipple clamps
• Swings

It’s fun to play and use imagination, but always remember to obtain full consent when two are playing together. Both parties must give their consent to use toys in sex!

When using sex toys, it's important to maintain good hygiene. Clean the toys and items after use according to the manufacturer's instructions. Note that some sex toys are made from delicate materials, so it's important to use compatible soaps and lubricants to avoid damage. Additionally, the genitals are sensitive, so it’s a good idea to avoid using strong soaps on sex toys to prevent irritation, discomfort, and infections.

If sharing sex toys during sex, it may be wise to put a condom over the toy to promote hygiene and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Some anal toys can also be used for stimulation of other areas. These toys should be thoroughly cleaned after each use, especially if switching from anal to other areas, like the vagina. This helps prevent unwanted bacteria from transferring from the anus to more sensitive areas.